When I was twenty-one years old, I learned I was pregnant with my son. I was single, scared and naive in so many ways. I was certain of one thing; I was not ready to be a mother. My son’s father and I were not on good terms. While deep down I never really believed in abortion, I wasn’t sure if bringing a baby into the world under the circumstances was best. On January 8, 2001, only days after learning I was pregnant, I was at work when I went for a quick bathroom break and noticed I was bleeding. At that moment, I panicked. Up until then I was unsure of what I was going to do however; something happened when I saw a blood clot. I realized at that very moment that I didn’t want my baby to die. You could say a maternal instinct kicked right in and I wanted to fight for the life of my baby. I remember praying to God that if He saved my baby, I would take care of it.
I informed my job and left to the hospital in the Bronx (I worked in Manhattan). Right away I notified my mother and son’s grandmother who both met me at the hospital emergency room. When taken back, they took quite a long time to attend to me and here I was thinking “I could be miscarrying, and nobody cares”?! I remember seeing a woman who was either in her second or third trimester and she was miscarrying her baby. She was heavily saturated in blood through her hospital gown and she was screaming for someone to help her but sadly, they did not. I was baffled that the staff took such a nonchalant approach instead of helping a woman who clearly needed medical attention in order to save her baby.
After taking a pregnancy test, the doctors confirmed I was pregnant (remember, I had only found out days before this and I hadn’t yet made an appointment with my GYN to discuss my next steps). My mother was with me in the room the whole time and I could remember her crying and consoling me. I was scared. I wasn’t ready to be a mom, but I also didn’t want my baby to die.
The doctors did an ultrasound and told me that there was no heartbeat. They were able to see the yolk sac but there was no baby in it so there was a possibility that I was pregnant in my fallopian tubes. They explained that an ectopic pregnancy was highly dangerous for a woman and it could kill her because a baby cannot survive in the fallopian tube – both mother and baby could die because she could bleed out if the fallopian tube ruptured. They also advised that if the pregnancy was not in the fallopian tubes, the fetus was already dead; hence the bleeding being the physical evidence of a miscarriage. The doctors recommended scraping me because they could not find a heartbeat. I told them no. I did not want for them to remove my baby (I also didn’t want to die). My mother begged me not to let them take out the baby. She cried desperately and told me “that baby is in there, Taina. He’s in there)! I did not know what to do. After all, the doctors were experts, weren’t they? I vaguely remember the conversation after that but at some point my mother asked about other options and a doctor suggested an emergency sonogram in 48 hours which would confirm if the fetus was in fact viable. I went with that option. I prayed like I never prayed before as did my family that the baby would be alive.
Forty-eight hours later I went for an emergency ultrasound. The moment the doctor put the fetal doppler on my lower abdomen, there was my baby’s heartbeat. Loud, strong and healthy! He was alive and he was as tiny as a pen dot at that time. He was alive!
Entering almost 4 – 4 ½ months into my pregnancy, my baby is thriving! By this time, I had already bonded with my baby. I would read to him, sing to him, play music for him and talk to him all the time.
During one of my routine prenatal visits, a member of a medical research team approached me to ask if I was interested in participating in a study that would help detect down syndrome earlier in the pregnancy instead of waiting for the genetics test to be administered. The study would involve a series of tests which included blood work and many ultrasounds to detect whether there was a curve in the baby’s neck during development. I received a call one day and was told that my blood tested positive for down syndrome which meant my baby may have down syndrome. I lost my mind. I don’t remember much other than having to make an appointment to meet with a doctor to discuss the next steps/further testing. When the doctor entered the room, he reiterated in greater depth that there was a possibility my baby had down syndrome. Through tears I asked what that meant for me and my baby and what was to happen next?
He presented three options in a very morbid and dispassionate way:
- Have an abortion. He explained that they would insert dilators that would cause me to go into labor hours later at which time if the baby did not die, they would need to inject a needle in my belly to kill the fetus then they would remove him. I was appalled, sick to my stomach and through tears and while yelling I explained how I was bonding with my baby and I could NOT just kill him. That was not a viable solution for me.
- Have a test called an amniocentesis. That is a test that samples the amniotic fluid using a long hollow needle that extracts fluid to test for developmental abnormalities. Risks included miscarriage because by poking a hole into the amniotic sac could result in the sac bursting, killing the baby. But the results would be 99.999% accurate.
- Do nothing and wait until the baby was born and as soon as he’s born, they will know by looking at him whether or not he was down syndrome.
By this time, I was determined to keep my baby, but I needed peace of mind to prepare if he was in fact born with down syndrome, so I went with option 2. I had the amniocentesis and rested for 3-4 days to prevent miscarriage (it was required for me to stay on bed rest to assure I wouldn’t lose the baby). Approximately a week or two later (it felt that long), I got the results that my son did NOT have down syndrome and they confirmed his sex and eye color (brown). I’m sure by now you can imagine how I was feeling. Emotionally, excited, relieved and just thankful to God for giving my baby a chance at LIFE.
Had I listened to the doctors that day in the emergency room, I would have allowed them to medically terminate my pregnancy and my son would not be here today. If I would have listed to the doctor who told me my baby may have had down syndrome and decided to abort based on one set of labs, my son would not be here today.
I want to point out once more the most important part of this. THE DOCTORS WERE WRONG.
Fast forward almost 18 years later and my son is 17 and graduating high school in a couple of months. He is healthy, handsome, intelligent and he is ALIVE! To God alone be all the glory!
I cannot say that my pregnancy was easy because it wasn’t. It came with many emotional challenges for several reasons but if there is one thing I am thankful for was that I never listened to the doctors. If it weren’t for my mother, grandmother and for God – Who placed a knowing in my heart that he was fine – my son would be dead. Another baby “terminated by medical abortion”.
Why do I share this with you? The reason is simple. It should be clear by now.
Abortion Laws Expanded
With the recent legislation passed in New York under the Reproductive Health Act and signed by Governor Cuomo, it is now legal for the mother to terminate a pregnancy within the first twenty-four weeks, or if the “fetus” is not viable or if the physician has exercised good judgement to determine the mother’s health must be preserved in which case mental health is not ruled out as a sustainable reason to terminate the pregnancy. In fact, abortion is no longer covered under Section 125.05 of the New York Penal Law which states that abortion can be considered homicide.
This is a serious issue because life as we know is left in the hands of physicians to determine whether or not a life is worth preserving in the womb. Moreover; the government should not be able to determine whether a life is viable or not; protecting abortion but not protecting the innocent life in the womb. Additionally, if the mother chooses to terminate the pregnancy by twenty-four weeks, she can legally do so, and this should not be permissible. At twenty-four weeks a baby can live outside the womb with close medical attention to assure the baby gets the medical care that it needs. Adoption is always an option seeing as how there are always families who are unable to conceive but would gladly adopt.
Additionally, Virginia is looking to pass a bill that allows after birth abortions which means the mother would give birth, doctors resuscitate the baby (if mother and family wanted that) at which mother and doctor would discuss options to abort the baby. AFTER the baby is outside of the womb and breathing.
Moreover; just yesterday the United States Senate voted against the Born-Alive Abortion Survivors Protection Act which would require a doctor to provide medical care to a child born alive after an attempted abortion. Now, doctors can finish killing the baby after they have survived a botched abortion.
This is infanticide. There are no words that can begin to describe how angry, sorrowful and heavy this has left my spirit. As a woman, as a mother and as a Christian.
A person does not have to be a Christian to agree that this is absolute infanticide. This is not a religious matter, it is a humanity matter. We ALL should care what happens to the life of a baby in the womb just as much as we would outside the womb. Developed or not, life begins at conception. We have a fundamental responsibility as humans to protect and preserve human life. All human life.
Who determines that the life inside of the womb is a baby?
God does. The Bible says that God is the Author of all life and He is the One that breathed life into man in Genesis 2:7, “then the LORD God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature”.
God Appointed Jeremiah In The Womb
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5
God Called Jesus From The Womb
“Coasts and islands, listen to me; distant peoples, pay attention. The Lord called me before I was born. He named me while I was in my mother’s womb”. Isaiah 49:1
God Forms Us In The Womb
“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them”. Psalm 139:13-16
God Condemns Killing A Baby In The Womb
“When men strive together and hit a pregnant woman, so that her children come out, but there is no harm, the one who hit her shall surely be fined, as the woman’s husband shall impose on him, and he shall pay as the judges determine. But if there is harm, then you shall pay life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burn for burn, wound for wound, stripe for stripe”. Exodus 21:22–25
The purpose for writing this is to let you know that:
- Abortion does not have to be the answer.
- Adoption is always an option.
- Doctors make mistakes.
- God has a plan no matter how the baby was conceived.
Please don’t kill your baby.
If you or someone is pregnant and unsure what to do next, please reach out to someone who can help you. God can always make a way out of no way.
My son is alive today because I did not resort to abortion as the final outcome and I give all the glory to God for his life. My son is a miracle and he is here because God is GOOD.
If you need prayer, please message me. I would love to pray for you. If there is anyway I can help lead you to someone who can provide the help you need, please do not hesitate to message me.
You’re not alone.
To learn more about adoption options, click on the link below:
Sign the Declaration of Life Petition:
Sign the “Stop Barbaric New Abortion Laws” Petition:
Read more about the Born-Alive Abortion Survivors Protection Act:
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