My Testimony of Faith, Trust and Remaining Steadfast In The Wilderness

About a month ago, I shared a post saying that I was going to one day soon share a testimony of a season in my life that has forever changed how I trust God and the level of faith that I have in Him. I know and believe that what God has walked me through was for His glory and to encourage someone else. It’s never about us so I pray that the following testimony – though lengthy – would encourage whoever might be experiencing the same or even a similar situation.

On March 1, 2017, I was laid off from my job. One that I had for several years. In fact, the last time (prior to March)  I didn’t have a job was in August 2011, due to relocating from New York to Florida at which time, I found work just only two months after relocating and I’ve been working ever since until the aforementioned date. So, with that said; while I’ve had my fair share of financial hardships as a single mother; I don’t know what it is to not provide for my home (me and my son).

I was notified in November 2016 of the company wide layoff. Even then, I had such a peace in my heart that everything was going to be fine. Somehow, the time I was about to be out of work, I would grow in my walk with Jesus. I just didn’t know how or what would take place for me to grow.

A severance package was provided to each employee in accordance to the number of years they worked so my package would hold me off for several months. So, I thought, not a problem; I’ll find a job before my finances run out. I’ll take this time to see where the Lord takes me. I’ll trust Him. That was my plan.

During the first several months after the layoff, I took that time to focus more on my home (because ministry begins at home), spending time with my son, my walk with the Lord and enjoying the much needed quiet time with Him, getting in scripture, doing some writing and also taking care of my temple. March, April, May came and went and I was fine. I started looking for work at the end of May, beginning of June. Nothing…. The end of June began approaching and so long as I was working by the first week of July, I would be “okay” I thought. Well, the end of June came and still nothing….. I applied for several jobs and I received several opportunities for interviews but I knew in my spirit that none of those calls I received were doors the Lord wanted me to walk through. While from the outside some people thought I was just simply being “picky” I knew how to hear from the Holy Spirit and wait on Him. And, so I did.

The month of July began, I just paid my rent and the money I had left was to pay some of my bills, and pay for some groceries but that was it. I was stretching every single dollar. Evidently, I fell behind on some of my bills and I paid the ones I could. I was beginning to feel a bit anxious, wondering how was I going to make this work? Did you catch that? How was I (ME), going to make this work? I was so anxious not to see myself on the street that I was trying to figure out how I would get my bills paid. Well, but didn’t I just spend the first three to four months of my time off growing in my walk in the Lord? Didn’t I have peace in November that everything would work out? What happened? Where was my faith? I found myself like Peter, on the water, and momentarily placed my eyes on the situation surrounding me. I found myself walking by sight; not by faith.

About the second week of July, I started noticing that every single job I applied for, turned me down. Now, keep in mind; I have two degrees, I have more than 10+ years of experience in what I do, and I had exceptional letters of recommendations from my former bosses, not to mention I worked for a reputable company so any company that hired any of the former employees, were fortunate because of our background and experience. So, what on earth was going on now?

Well, one day when I was talking with the Lord, expressing my heart to Him, He responded “I’m closing every single door you’re trying to walk through. I want to teach you something.” I thought, “woah….”. That was a tough pill to swallow. I responded “Okay, Lord. Whatever You walk me through, I know You’ll see me through. But I need to be working by the first week of August.” Did you catch that? Now I gave God a deadline. I repeat. I gave God a deadline on when to teach me what He wanted to teach me because I needed a job to get the bills paid in my home and not see myself in the street for August. Well, I was quickly reminded that God doesn’t work on our time. He is never early, or late but always on time and He works all things together for the good of those who love Him. Furthermore; He reminded me of Isaiah 40:31 which says “But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.”

So I took that time and delve deeper into growing closer to the Lord, I prayed, I reminded God of His word and I declared His promises over my home, my son and my life. I began to see that just when I was running out of money for groceries, I was blessed with money to buy food for my home. He was seeing me through. I continued applying for jobs in faith, believing that in HIS time, He would open the right door for the job opportunity He had for me.

Then mid July, I get a call early in the morning from someone near and dear to me and was told “The Lord told me to tell you to wake up and praise Him. Because of your obedience, He is going to bless you. Your rent for August is paid.” I just started praising the Lord, celebrating the victory He just gave me. My God, covered my rent for August and me and my son would have a place to stay and several other bills were also covered! Man, God is good. But it didn’t end there. He then touched the heart of someone else I love to pay my light bill for the month of August. I realized I encountered Jehovah Jireh, the God that provides (Genesis 22:13-14). I was seeing the hand of God in my home. My refrigerator was full, we never lacked a meal; my rent was paid and my light was on. I was MORE than blessed!

Now, some of you may be wondering “why wouldn’t she just take whatever job came her way so that she wouldn’t see herself in that situation?” The answer is simple. My God told me to trust HIM. So I did. I knew what His word said and I believed every single word in scripture and when I didn’t know how to, I sought Him all the more and He always met me where I was and came through.

Could I have moved out of my apartment and go stay with family? Sure. In fact, I could have returned to New York where I would have found a job paying so much more than any job here in Florida would pay. But you see, New York is my Egypt. Let me explain. It is the place of bondage that the Lord delivered me from. When Moses left Egypt in Exodus, chapter 2, he didn’t return when he found himself in the wilderness. No. In the wilderness is where he encountered God (Exodus 3). It is where he was no longer, Moses, “grandson of Pharaoh” but he became, Moses, servant of God. He returned on assignment from God to deliver His people (the people of Israel) out of bondage. So for me, New York is where the OLD me lived and grew deeper in sin. Florida represents freedom, growth and deliverance. A place where I have become the woman God has called me to be. Why, oh why would I return to Egypt? I would not. Even though many will never understand, I remain firm on the fact that I will not ever return to the place that kept me from knowing the Lord because of the sin in my life. New York was not and is not my final destination. I recognize that there is much work to be done in me and through me and there are souls that need to hear the gospel of Jesus Christ. I want to be one of the vessels used to lift the name of Jesus and help rescue souls on their way to eternal damnation. So because of the calling, there is a great price to pay and I acknowledge that.

Now, where was I? So, at the end of July, when the money was given to me to pay my rent for the month of August, the Lord said that now He was going to begin opening doors for me to find a job. He wanted to see if I really trusted Him and truly had faith in Him. He revealed to me that while I had my severance package, I was “fine” but when the money ran out, I was operating on FAITH, no longer by what I saw. I was AMAZED at how awesome God was! I fell more in love with Him in this season. And just as the Lord said it, is exactly how it happened. I started receiving responses for interview opportunities but still knew I hadn’t come across the right one until at the very end of August – right before my rent was due for September. Remember, I’m still walking and living by faith here – I go for an interview and land the job on the spot! So, I ended the month of August with a job, and my rent paid for September because He touched the heart of someone dear to bless me until I got back on my feet.

Now, if that isn’t God, I don’t know what is. I will tell you what is not and that is coincidence. All of the above is not coincidence. 

It is the work of the mighty hand of God. The work of the One true living God in the life of a servant fully committed and surrendered to His will even when the world told me to pretty much curse my God and die (Job 2:9). No, I refused. Since I began walking with Jesus, I’ve seen the miracle working power of the God I serve. I’ve been changed, healed, freed and delivered. I found joy, peace, grace and favor and I won’t go back to where I used to be (Lyrics to the song “I won’t go Back” by Pastor William McDowell). Not today, not ever.

These words are not just lyrics to a song, they are my realty, my truth, my testimony!

I have seen God make a way out of no way. He has parted the Red Sea in my life, He has multiplied my food, He has healed me and has delivered me from a lifestyle that caused me to pursue men over God. He has restored my home and has brought healing and complete restoration to some of the most crucial relationships in mine and my son’s life. I am a living, breathing, walking and talking miracle and THIS is why I proclaim the gospel as boldly as I do.

So, I share the above, humbly with you because I know and believe someone, somewhere is going through something similar and I am here to tell you that GOD IS ABLE, GOD IS FAITHFUL, GOD KEEPS HIS WORD, GOD PROVIDES, GOD NEVER LEAVES US NOR FORSAKES US. If He did it for me, I PROMISE that if you lay down your life and pursue His Son, He will do it for you!

If you need prayer, please email me and I will gladly pray with you. May you be blessed and press on because He’s never failing! He will see you through!

“being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.” Philippians 1:6

© 2017 Heshineswithinme.com. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Heshineswithinme.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.


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