Control Your Tongue, Don’t Let It Control You!

“The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” Proverbs 18:21.

There is power in the words we speak. We can speak life or we can speak death. Once words are spoken, they cannot be undone and they cannot be taken back. Words can hurt and one day, we will stand before God and give account for every word spoken from our mouths. Did we bless or curse?

I speak from experience. Before I accepted Christ as my Savior I prided myself in “cutting people with the words I spoke” – it was a defense mechanism from years of being belittled, being put down, being verbally abused. I didn’t walk around saying hurtful words just because however; when I spoke out of raw emotion, it wasn’t good.

I didn’t realize at the time, that I wasn’t any better than the people hurting me. I was just as bad, if not worse because the words I spoke, were often venomous. Moreover, I learned later that the bible tells us in 1 Peter 3:9 not to repay evil with evil but to repay evil with good. Of course I couldn’t have known that because I didn’t have Jesus. In fact, even after I gave my life back to Jesus Christ, I struggled in this area of my life until the Lord showed me the importance of words; that is when I started becoming aware of the words proceeding from my mouth.

There is a saying that goes, hurt people; hurt people. This is true. As a result of being hurt, I hurt others with the words I spoke and I was unaware and completely desensitized to this fact. As I grew in my relationship with the Lord, He made me aware of the damage I had caused and was causing because I lacked discipline and conviction over the words I spoke. But what I love most about the Lord is that He corrects the ones He loves just as a father disciplines the son he delights in – Proverbs 3:12.

The Lord also made it very clear to me that I would have to give account to God for every idle word I spoke. Matthew 12:36-37 says “I tell you, on the Day of Judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.

Having the Lord discipline me, wasn’t easy because not only was I seeing how I hurt others with the words I spoke, I knew I hurt the Lord as well and and was grieving the Holy Spirit which the Bible tells us clearly not to do in Ephesians 4:30.

Change began within me when I confessed my sin, repented of it and promised the Lord that I would change with His help and – the hardest part- I needed to forgive those who hurt me and ask forgiveness from those I hurt.

Words form from thoughts. Thoughts are formed from imaginations placed in one’s mind by the enemy.

So the Holy Spirit taught me to apply 2 Corinthians 10:3-6 in my life because there was a spiritual war going on which could not  be conquered physically. “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled.”

Now, I see the fruit of speaking life, speaking love, blessing those who curse me, and so on. All the glory and honor goes to my King! Now, I welcome the Lord’s rebuke in every area of my life! He makes me better!

Remember, no one (believers and non-believers alike) will be exempt from giving account to God for the words we speak. The choice is yours as to whether you will speak foolishness or refrain from folly talk.

  • Choose to bless people with your words and not curse them; even when they curse you.
    • Romans 12:14 – Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.
  • Choose to guard your mouth.
    • Proverbs 13:3 – Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.
  • Choose to heal with the words that proceed from your mouth, not hurt.
    • Proverbs 12:18 – There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
  • Choose not to gossip.
    • Ephesians 4:29 – Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
  • Choose not to cuss.
    • Ephesians 5:4 – Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.
  • Choose to speak words you won’t later regret.
    • Proverbs 21:23 – Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.
  • Choose to love with the words you speak and not hate.
    • Proverbs 15:4 – A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.
  • Christian, choose to represent Christ in a way that honors Him.
    • Psalm 19:14 – Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

God is ALWAYS listening because He’s Omnipresent – He’s everywhere at the same time. The Lord says in Jeremiah 23:24 “Can a man hide himself in secret places so that I cannot see him? declares the Lord. Do I not fill heaven and earth? declares the Lord.”

If you’re reading this blog and you can relate, don’t feel guilty, don’t tear yourself down, ask God to help you. Confess your sin, repent and ask Him to change you. I promise, He will.

If the Lord changed me and the words I spoke, He certainly can change you! I’m living proof He transforms! The question remains… Are you ready to change?

Stay encouraged and God bless,



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